a year older...

When you look back and it doesn't bring tears to your eyes,
whether tears of joy or sorrow,
consider the year wasted!

life...

In life you get to this place where nothing matters, not because you don’t care…but there is nothing important to matter… I find myself in a place like this…where nothing matters yet everything is fragile…the world is very fragile to be untrue. Life is very short for lies. And I don’t want to waste my heart.

sooner or later

Sooner or later,
when you look back on everything,
would you just laugh?
like you knew what all was happening...
Someday you might listen to what people have to say,
but right now you gonna learn it the hard way!

Chak De India!

As the film ended my friend said to me, "sabko sab kuch mil gaya"! Man! Rather Woooman!
The film was highly predictable and I found myself guessing the entire storyline shot by shot rather correctly but this dint stop the film from becoming a mind blowing experience for me.

Each and every person who has ever been a part of any sports team will be able to connect with the film. The highs and lows are beautifully orchestrated through out the film. it was a no- drama film, even in films like Lagaan and Swades there were moments when i turned and said puhleez! But this film thankfully dint give me a reason. During the interval i said a little prayer wishing that the director of the film would be able to keep it together like in the first half...and he did! To sum up the story in the first half the 16 girls (who BTW look and talk like real players) learn to be a team and then in the 2nd half they play for their team.
The inter, intra team rivalries have been depicted really well.

I left the hall with a really nice feeling. The crowd cheered, cried for the Indian Hockey team and found comfort in their win.

Everything in the film happened for a reason - even the release date of the film. Everyone seemed to forget the unfortunate exit of the Indian Cricket team earlier this year...The film rocked! Chak De India!

life changes in a blink of an eye!

its been a while since i have put something up here... life just took a complete U-turn! Work, out of all the things in life is rocking! (in a good way) rest everything else seems to be on the back burner.

Lots has changed since i wrote the last post...lost some friends and family, lovers too! But gained much more in terms of self discovery.

the biggest revelation for me is to realise that I am mentally single! Yes all these years when I have been struggling with relationships, trying to row the boat against the current! To be able to realise this has been a blessing…I enjoy being single…being able to do what I feel like, not being answerable to anyone…the feeling is just awesome!

My favourite post....once again!

I miss you...

She asked me for a cold drink
I ran to the kitchen to fetch her one
I was back in no time only to find her gone…lost forever…
The last thing she asked me for… I couldn’t get it to her in time…
I will always miss her smile. Smile, when she was in pain. Smile, when she saw me…
Smile…smile…smile…that’s all I remember…
I was too young to understand
But could feel the loss – of her smile!

The phone rang
He told me he had a surprise for me.
I was excited, promised I’ll see him over the weekend.

The phone rang again…I rushed to answer, ask about the surprise
It wasn’t him…he would never call again…was he angry with me?
I was hurt; I knew I would miss him and the surprise I never got
I forgot to tell him how much I loved him;
Will he know how much I love him?

She was expecting.
I was excited. A new born was coming!
He came into this world with complications. The tiniest little thing I had ever seen.
I couldn’t touch him.
He needed to rest.
He went off to sleep, never to open his eyes…
I will miss what we could have had…the bond that was broken too early…

I got the news… He’s not well
I wonder if I’ll see him again, I really want to but can I face another loss?
I have to tell him how much I care, how much he means to me, how much I’ll miss him…
I don’t want this to end…

i wish for

Someone once told me –

Be careful what you wish for coz you might get it all…

I wish for it to be true…

My wish list…

a smile, mountains, a close friend, a lover for the night, late night conversations, stolen kisses, family trips, red shoes, polka dots, a surprise party, free phone calls, films, rock concert, skinny dipping, rainy night, guitar, hand written letters, fist fights, French tips, contradictions…

Saving the best for last

While having dinner last night I noticed how I would instinctively save the best thing on my plate for last. Light bulb moment: started wondering if life does that to you too. It serves all the crap in the beginning only to serve the best last. You might think im just being highly optimistic, but when I look back at life- it’s only gotten better!

Take for example the guys I’ve dated, I would be really embarrassed to be seen with some of them in public now! But they only got better…the last one was a bomb, a nuclear bomb!

The days of the week also work on the same analogy, Mondays being the worst…but it only gets better. Come weekend and voila you are partying!

Life is like a 3 course meal – a starter to work you up, main course to satisfy you hunger and the dessert always to be served last! That’s no co-incidence – the best things in life are always to be had or experienced after you’ve gone through the not so great experiences. So every time life throws shit at you, know that it’s only going to get better and like everything else…this too shall pass!

Leave Comments for the pics here

hehehehehe!
u can leave ur comments here...
would love them!

With u... For u... Always….

By Meenakshi Chauhan

The mantra of Delhi police... The tag line for the last 10 odd years.. with you for u always… crap… I love Delhi and have to defend it to many a traveler but after the experience I had I think foreigners and diplomats are safer in my city than me!!!

Here’s what happened:

My last birthday as a single independent lady in Delhi, 16th June 2007, I take my friends to chungwa in M block market GK – 2 for a nice lunch. The food was ok the service horrendous, the waiters lazy… wait wait wait, I’m digressing… ok so I park my car, get a parking slip from the government authorized parking attendant ‘ 10 rupees for 3 hours’ , come out an hour later and there is a huge mob that’s collected in the market. Wondering what the commotion is about I notice a sticker on my car saying ‘look wrong parking’. It’s a challan for 600 rupees. 600 rupees for no fault of mine????

I decided then and there I was going to fight for my rights. Hale Bob Marley… The problem was who to fight with.
The traffic police said – I’m right get the parking attendant to pay.
The parking attendant said – wait let me talk to the cops and disappeared.
The Delhi police ‘with u for u always’, said- its beyond our jurisdiction speak to traffic police.
Traffic police said – get delhi police to get u your money for the challan from the parking attendant.
Delhi police said – we can’t do that.

So what do I do go find some goonda to beat the parking attendant up or should I have physically assaulted him and taken the money…Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally someone after much fighting said go to Nehru place and lodge a complaint. Brilliant!
So I and my 2 musketeer friends go to Nehru place to fight for my rights.
We expect a government office, we find a dilapidated stinky 4 X 4 room, and I spew out my story.
The chap there too agrees I am not at fault the parking attendant will pay. He calls the traffic police agent deployed at the spot to bring the parking attendant. Half an hour later he arrives with the wrong guy. The chap tells me to go back to GK 2 and find the right parking attendant… it’s my birthday …. Hrmphf!!!!!!!

I walk out and the traffic police agent says he will not issue me a ticket as it was not my fault…. Why couldn’t he have just said that in the 1st place!!!

Anyhow I still have the evidence, so just incase he was lying and I get a ticket in 2 months because that’s how long it takes…I will re open the case… and if I am honest I will probably just pay the 600 bucks to save from having to go to court!!!


Lessons learnt:

1. Do not trust the parking guys unless you’re sure its authorized parking with no signs for no parking or tow away zone in at least a 1KM radius of your car.
2. do not go to Delhi police for any traffic related offenceDo not go to Delhi police for any help whatsoever… the traffic police is at least a lot more civil if you speak nicely. Delhi police is rude!
3. Drive as little as possible.

15th June a bike comes and bangs into my car, dents my bumper, and the man yells at me saying ‘ Madam break marne se pehle… peeche toh dekh lo”, ‘Madam before u jam on your breaks look behind u”… ya and go straight into the back of the car in front of me that braked??????


4. Stand by what you believe in and see it through to the end. It’s a headache but it might just pay off.

5. Don’t think the traffic police agent actually thought I’d go to Nehru place and fight for my rights!!!

6. Delhi police cannot give you a ticket unless its at night when traffic police is off duty!!!

i miss you...

She asked me for a cold drink
I ran to the kitchen to fetch her one
I was back in no time only to find her gone…lost forever…
The last thing she asked me for… I couldn’t get it to her in time…
I will always miss her smile. Smile, when she was in pain. Smile, when she saw me…
Smile…smile…smile…that’s all I remember…
I was too young to understand
But could feel the loss – of her smile!

The phone rang
He told me he had a surprise for me.
I was excited, promised I’ll see him over the weekend.

The phone rang again…I rushed to answer, ask about the surprise
It wasn’t him…he would never call again…was he angry with me?
I was hurt; I knew I would miss him and the surprise I never got
I forgot to tell him how much I loved him;
Will he know how much I love him?

She was expecting.
I was excited. A new born was coming!
He came into this world with complications. The tiniest little thing I had ever seen.
I couldn’t touch him.
He needed to rest.
He went off to sleep, never to open his eyes…
I will miss what we could have had…the bond that was broken too early…

I got the news… He’s not well
I wonder if I’ll see him again, I really want to but can I face another loss?
I have to tell him how much I care, how much he means to me, how much I’ll miss him…
I don’t want this to end…

Co-incidence...i say Conspiracy!!!

LAst year same time i tripped and fell off the stairs...i hurt myself relatively badly.

This yr i tripped again!!! i hurt myself bad enough...

lying on my bed...wondering wats happening...i believe the world is conspiring agaisnt me. They want to crush my spirit! i say...lil falls on the stairs wont kill me...u need a nuclear bee!

Project - Toppo's

Dreams
Someone once said to me that when dreams become a reality they lose their charm, but as my dreams are becoming a reality they seem more charming than ever! It's the first step towards the Ultimate dream and for me the first has been the most difficult but im hoping that my steps become faster...and easier!

Lets just be friends...

Two people meet...are attracted to each other, start spending time together but somewhere realise that is nto working out for them...theres soemthign more or LESS that they are looking for! They decide to part ways and the last sentence exchanged is - Lets just be friends! the most insincere sentence in the english language. People say this not because they really want to be friends, but to make it easier for both involved...

Virgin

There is something very special about the first time you do something…Remember your first kiss? The first time you fell in love, your first salary cheque, the first day in school… wait a second I remember nothing about that day!
First timers are truly special. Try remembering the second or the third time you did it, and you’ll never be able to remember the incident like the first time it ever happened to you.
My trip to Munsiyari was a big package of 1st timers. I caught myself using the phrase ‘That’s the first time I’m doing this’, a million of times. This road trip was the first time I took a trip with just 1 person. I was quite nervous about the whole thing. knowing my temperament some of my friends even advised me to not pick a fight with my trip buddy as I will be left with no one to speak to! Thankfully the trip was minus any fights…Ok! Ok! There were some arguments but I rather call them ‘Creative Disagreement’.
It’s not a secret that im a foodie, and I expected food to be, if not great then at least edible. To my surprise most of the places on the way looked like breeding ground for many diseases and believe me im not even that picky! I ate almost nothing in the 6 day long trip, which lead to the weight loss that happened in jus 6 days! A crash diet I never want to be on again! We drank straight from the millions of waterfalls which according to me was the coolest- as no filtration was required!
I saw millions of species’ of birds and bees! (Pun intended!) My favourite, being the drongo. That bird had something about it, looked really evil to me and to top it all she had a tail which resembled the tail of an arrow!(Check it out in the pic). One of the highlights of the trip was when we went skinny dippy in hot sulphur springs. It was undoubtedly the most amazing thing that I had ever done and it calls for a separate article about the experience!

Not only was this the first time I ever went on a trek but also the very first time when I camped overnight out in the mountains, left to the mercies of the nature gods! Read near death experience for the lowdown.
This was the very first time I went without alcohol for an entire vacation. We did carry a bottle of breezer but it found itself back to Delhi without being touched! No alcohol could give me the high I got from the sights I saw and the sounds I heard!

There are just so many things that I loved about the trip and the amazing feeling doesn’t seem to fade away…im guessing it’s the magic of the 1st timer!

IT'S WAR

They call me the warrior…jus a question…is taking a stand for self being a warrior. Its amazing to see peoples reaction to an agitation…there 1st reaction is to try and suppress the agitation. The oppressor tries to convince you that what you doing is stupid and you should compromise as soon as possible to save yourself from further mockery! I say mockery…people who choose to laugh at my endevour are the same people who would come forward and congratulate me if I were to win…

There is no win or lose here, coz I feel that I am the loser any which way. If I lose I’ve lost my battle and if I win, jus the fact that I had to fight for my right makes me the loser!
Im tired of this façade where everything is alright!

I’m not as think as you drunk I am!

I was compelled to write about my 1st and last love, after I heard of something highly stupid that this friend did under the influence! My first reaction was to crack up completely but now I feel sorry coz he called me for some consolation and all he got was his friend mocking him! It jus took me 30 seconds to realise that he’s not alone and that I have done, if not crazier then at least equally stupid things when buzzed.

I still remember back in college on a friend’s birthday, we went to this place which served cheap alcohol. My other friend who was really frustrated with her love life decided to take it fast this time. Well as expected she got drunk before we hit the 3rd drink. My poor drunk friend wanted to keep drinking while all of us wanted to leave because of her rowdy behaviour. She took it upon herself to abuse the crap out of anyone who so much so as looked in our direction (Well can’t blame them!). All of us were not only extremely embarrassed but very eager to get out of there, so we asked for the bill. In the chaos that was created while trying to pull her out of her chair 2 people paid the bill! Ya we left twice the money! Only to realise it much later! Finally we were out of the place and waiting for the cars to arrive, each second seemed like an hour and our impatient and drunk friend decided to throw a tantrum. Remember when we were 5 yrs old and we would roll on the floor if we dint get what we wanted…well that’s exactly what happened next! She rolled on the floor and screamed that she wanted another drink! Thankfully after much drama the car arrived and she was quickly put in the car; driven home and put to sleep…well of course she never heard the end of it!

You think that was stupid behaviour wait till you read about the crazy things I’ve done when I got drunk! But before that, coming back to another episode: when we got invited to a friend’s boyfriend’s party (now Ex-boyfriend). Another good friend of mine got pissed drunk! She not only threw up on herself but also threw up in another friend’s bag, on her skirt and shoes. Then she was taken to the washroom (to be washed!). She insisted that she was Okie and that she’ll be out in 2 minutes…ya right! It took her 2 hours to come out coz she passed out on the bathroom floor! And I hade to drive her car (while I was still learning how to drive + I was at the party too! so clearly buzzing!) and drop her home! Thank God we’re still alive!

Now the time has come when I write about the person who inspired me to write this- he’s my Studddd Muffin! Well he is undoubtedly the ‘KING OF COMEDY’. I know it’s not funny for him right now but dost when u read this 3 months later trust me u’ll roll on the floor like the rest of us! Well he got drunk like most of us have on more occasions than one, but here are some fundamental mistakes that stud muffin made for this special mention –
He got high at an office party (ok that’s not bad that’s happened to the best of us).
He decided to hit on the VP’s daughter! (maybe she was hot and you couldn’t resist)
The VP’s daughter studies in class 12th! (Kids really do develop early now-a-days!)
Held the VP’s wife’s hand and whispered in her ear – “Message me!” (I really admire your courage!)

No wonder that they say that birds of feather flock together! Under the influence ppl I know have danced on the roads, stripped, picked fights, dumped they partners or gotten dumped!
So I guess it’s only fair for me to write about all the madness I have been upto under the influence. Not only have I thrown a tantrum but I have done that in front of my entire family at a family function! I have locked myself in a public loo and my friends have had to trace the maintenance guys to get me outta there as I was too daft to figure out how to unlock the door! Not only have I ruined people’s parties but have ended my own even before they could take off! Have scared the crap out of a few of my boyfriend’s by telling them that I’m madly in love with them and that I will kill them if they ever leave me!!! Ya right they were outta of there before I could finish the sentence…and I don’t blame them! PEACE! But Mr. Muffin never- ever hit on the VP’s daughter who is in class 12!! And so the award for THE MOST STUPID BEHAVIOUR UNDER THE INFLUENCE GOES TO…. (DRUM ROLL) STUD MUFFIN- for the bravery that he displayed while he whispered in the VP’s wife’s ear!

Not to worry guys…this award could be yours if u have the Guts of Steel and stupidity that could trump his!

Bring it on!

When you can forgive, you can move on. When you’re able to move on, you can change. And when you can change, you’re ready to welcome the new and improved into your life…so what are you waiting for?

The ability to forgive comes with time and I loathe using this cliché that time is the best healer, its hard to forgive someone who’s hurt you…It becomes much easier when you realise that when people hurt you they are giving you a chance to be a better person- a new and improved person!

Change should be the mantra of our lives; whatever keeps us moving is good. We need to accept it with our arms wide open because Power comes from becoming change! The minute you become change you become powerful. Power to take control of your life. Power to be able to make the most out of what life throws at you. A friend once told me “ki jab life aapki taraf googly phekti hai toh humme front foot pe badke chchakaa marna chahiye!” (When life throws a googly at you, you should go forward on your front foot and hit a sixer!)

So I would say to all the people out there bring it on…coz im aiming at Perfection!

Boys!

Question of the day.... why do we give them so much importance in our lives!!! all they are good for is jus one thing...
its nature and we should not try to go against it!

im not saying that women are any better!

Keep it simple!

Its amazing to realise that someone in your life has the capacity to hurt you…what's more amazing is that once u do realise this, u still do nothing to change it! This could probably be one of the reasons why life is so complex. The creator must be wondering as to how simply we humans can complex our lives! All he sent us here to do was eat, sleep and procreate, but what do we do? We add emotions to it! To complex things more-these are not simple emotions like feeling satisfied after eating, feeling fresh after a good nights sleep and satiated after sex! The usual complex emotions are to worry about what we have just eaten; as to how it will alter our shapes and sizes! We wake up even more exhausted in the morning because the night before we spent worrying about what the next day is going to bring with it. Procreation the simplest of them all comes with added baggage- Does he love me? Does he care about me? I mean I can only imagine what the guy up there would be thinking while he sees us complexing things!


What is love? Yes the L word, what does it mean? The definition of love is- a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. It could be a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. That's simple to understand… then why are we scared of this word? Why are we scared of declaring our love for someone? Love is the simplest emotion and yet we find so many ways to complicate it! Why should love come with added responsibilities? You either love someone or you don't, period. There shouldn't be the 'I love you, but…' , 'i love you, if...' The ifs and buts are the trouble makers! We are scared of the ifs and buts in life and in love. We need to find a place where we can love someone without expectations. You might say that it's easier said than done, but to truly be content and happy in life we need to stop expecting! Unreasonable expectations complicate life. Imagine the simplicity of life without them. We would be liberated without expectations, humans would be free to think and act if we were devoid of expectations. We would express our love without being scared of being rejected. Life would indeed be SIMPLE!

Cuts and bruises...

LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! life is a script gone wrong...there are several cuts...which are not punctuations but bruises on my body... the fact that no one understands me doesn't make me an artist! next time i'll try harder...harder to make myself understood...

Near death experience!

My friend called this trip a trip for self re-discovery! Wow that’s deep! Im guessing we all should take these trips for self re-discovery every now and then as we seem to be losing ourselves each day to this thing called life! I went on this journey for no such profound reason… My reasons were simple- Adventure! Adventure! Adventure!

Adventure…well I got lots more than that! Got a near death experience!
As this was the first REAL trekking trip I went on, I found it really hard to fathome the possibilities. After a good 8 hr sleep which was extremely rare on this trip, we started our trek. We got dropped to a place which, if it was commercialized would be called – BASE CAMP! The uphill climb was long and quite steep for my standards, and in no time I realised that the life I was leading back here in the city was not a healthy one. The spirits were now taking a toll on me! After the hundreds of butt pushes and millions of stops to catch my breath we finally made it to the top! Phew! The view from the top was unbelievable not only because of the amazing sights but also because I MADE IT! It seemed unreal.

We quickly pitched out tents and gathered wood for the fire. Our navigator prepared the most amazing tea which I savoured but not for long as I was informed that we needed to trek upto the sunset point. Okie I said with a smile…only if they knew that I was in no bloody mood to take a step after the long trek leave alone walking some 4 kms just to see the sun set! We walked slowly…but I knew I was ready to give up…and that’s exactly what I did somewhere in the middle. I insisted that my friends continue while I rest here in the middle of nowhere. Soon I realised that this was the best shot I would get at ‘self re-discovery’!

I sat there in the cold slightly uncomfortable thinking about how long I’ll have to be there all alone. After some time I contemplated going back to the camp but the thought of something happening to me and no one being able to find me was a thought scary enough to make me sit out in the freakin’ cold!

My eyes followed my friends as they made their climb uphill. I found some comfort looking at them coz now the feeling of loneliness was sinking in. They were slipping in and out of my line of sight. It was like a game of hide and seek. Every time they vanished my mind began to drift away but amazingly no thoughts came to my mind…I tried real hard to think about things in my life but nothing….absolutely nothing could take me away from the calm which I felt. Sitting out there in the middle of nowhere nothing mattered at all! The troubles of life could not touch me here. I felt strong and weak at the same time. Weak because I was escaping from life and strong because finally I had found an escape route!

The night was rather uncomfortable. My socks were wet and I didn't have the presence of mind to carry an extra pair! Before we went off to sleep we decided that we should be up by 5 to catch the sunrise. By 1 I realised that if I din’t do anything about the cold I would die of hypothermia!!! With a little help from my friend and thanks to the ancient ways of keeping warm I survived the night! The first thing I did in the morning was to thank God- my friend for saving my life!! Little that i knew that he would find other ways to kill me...

Munsiyari Trip!

i'll be posting a series of posts of this mind numbing trip to the land of Gods!
to begin with some thing i wrote when my boss was standing on my head and i was pretending real hard to be working *wink*

1st post!

This is a start. A start to the journey called life!